


Neminem Excusat

by Wtchcool



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: AO3 1 Million, Alternate Universe, Ding Dong Katherine's Dead, Gen, Trials, Vampires playing Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 14:30:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1188657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wtchcool/pseuds/Wtchcool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The trials of having Damon Salvatore as a client...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Neminem Excusat

“Please state your name for the record,” Caroline Forbes asked the witness.

            “Damon Salvatore.”

            “And what do you do for a living?” the criminal defense attorney continued.

            “I play a vampire on T.V.—Dmitri Petrelonov on _In Sanguis Veritas_ ,” Damon replied.

 

____________

 

            “Tell Blondie to leave the room,” Damon waved a hand dismissively. Alaric Saltzman’s lips thinned, but he nodded at his now irate associate to do as the client had asked. Caroline left the room, muttering under her breath. No sooner had the conference room door closed behind her than Alaric spoke up preemptively.

            “No.”

            “No what, Rick?” Damon asked.

            “No, you’re not going to tell me what happened. I don’t want to hear it.”

            “Oh come on! All I—”

            “I mean it, Damon. You know that I can’t suborn perjury. I can’t put you on the stand to testify that you’re innocent if you tell me you killed her,” Alaric explained as patiently as he could.

            “And you can’t win without putting me on the stand?” Salvatore asked. “What happened to Blondie’s assessment? ‘ _No jury would ever convict Dmitri Petrelonov_,’” he imitated Caroline’s voice as he quoted her.

            “I agree with Caroline that your fame—”

            “And my looks,” the defendant interrupted.

            “Fine, and your looks,” the attorney continued, not impressed with the other’s vanity, “will help you gain the sympathy of the jury. But if you really want to persuade them, you need to testify.”

            “And we can’t just compel our way out of this because?” Damon asked.

            Most people who are willing to entertain the proposition that vampires exist assume that they would avoid the limelight. Protecting the secret of their existence would surely be as paramount as finding sustenance. The idea of a vampire playing a vampire on TV was absurd—

            —And that was why it was the perfect disguise.

            “Because Elijah Michaelson is the prosecutor,” Alaric explained. “Frankly, he’d be better at compelling jurors than either of us. Now I’ve spoken to him, and he’s willing to slip vervain into their water supply so we can all be assured a fair trial.”

            “Who said we wanted a fair trial?” Damon asked.

            “ _Damon!_ ” Alaric groaned.

            “Rick, listen to me—Katherine had it coming.”

            “One more word and you’re going to have to find a new attorney,” the younger vampire warned him. “Now, I assume you don’t have an alibi.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, probably not going to finish this one. Wouldn't have posted this snippet, but hey, Happy 1 million works AO3!


End file.
